Most people drift through life reacting to whatever comes their way, but former Navy SEAL commander Mike Hayes insists the only way to find true purpose is to take the wheel and drive toward it with relentless intent.
Story Snapshot
- Your core identity—the “who”—matters far more than any job title or accomplishment
- Unchecked ambition is only as good as the mission it serves—define your own “right station”
- Giving back pays off not just in goodwill, but in opportunity and long-term fulfillment
- Purposeful living means taking ownership, steering your own course, and leaving a lasting mark
The “Who” That Dictates Your Life’s Direction
Mike Hayes, who led SEAL Team Two and later advised at the White House, argues that the foundation of a purposeful life is knowing your “who.” He believes society’s obsession with asking “what do you do?” misses the point; fulfillment begins by defining who you are—your principles, values, and aspirations—before you chase any new accomplishment or career milestone. Most dissatisfaction, Hayes claims, comes from the gap between your authentic self and the roles you fill. Narrow that gap, and you’ll find yourself energized by your mission, rather than drained by aimless striving.
Hayes shares candidly that the “what” of your life will always evolve. Jobs come and go, circumstances shift, but the self you bring to every table—the community builder, the caregiver, the explorer—remains your truest compass. When your identity and your actions align, a sense of wholeness emerges that no promotion or payday can match. The wider that gap, the greater the frustration—even if you appear successful on the outside.
Ambition Is Only Noble If It’s Pointed in the Right Direction
Ambition powers achievement, but only if it’s harnessed by intention. Hayes warns that high performers often burn themselves out chasing goals defined by others, or by society’s metrics of success, never pausing to ask if the finish line is one they actually chose. He recounts working under Pat Gelsinger, former CEO of VMware and Intel, who drove teams to exceed their own limits through relentless expectation—yet always with a clear sense of purpose. Ambition without direction is a runaway train; with focus, it becomes the engine for real breakthroughs.
Hayes recalls how Gelsinger’s parting advice was to keep raising the bar. Without pressure, performance slips into mediocrity. But it’s not just about working harder; it’s about aiming higher for the right reasons. Hayes challenges readers to examine whether their ambition is moving them toward their own mission or simply chasing the next rung on someone else’s ladder. When ambition is aligned with personal values and a clear destination, he argues, it becomes a powerful force for positive change.
Giving: The Secret Weapon of the Mission-Driven
For Hayes, giving isn’t just a virtue—it’s a strategic advantage. He explains that helping others, whether through mentoring or community service, creates a ripple effect that returns in both unexpected opportunities and deep personal satisfaction. As a SEAL, visiting wounded warriors was a duty that left him more inspired than those he sought to help. Over time, Hayes learned that the most successful people are those who invest in others and become worthy of investment themselves.
He’s unashamed about the practical benefits of giving. Networking, for example, is often viewed cynically, but Hayes insists that helping others—making calls, opening doors, connecting people—has real value for both giver and receiver. Strategic giving doesn’t cheapen service; it multiplies its effects. When the world is oriented toward helping, everyone wins, and personal “returns” are just one byproduct of a more generous society.
Don’t Wait for Opportunity—Engineer It From the Top Down
Many SEALs, Hayes observes, struggle to transition from the military because they’ve spent years reacting to the day-to-day demands of service, rarely pausing to ask what truly energizes them. He contends that most people approach job searches and life decisions “bottom-up,” taking whatever options appear and picking the best of a limited set. This method produces safe, decent outcomes—but rarely the extraordinary ones that define a mission-driven life.
Hayes advocates for a “top-down” approach: start with a clear vision of what you want, based on your unique skills, passions, and the world’s needs, and then actively seek or create opportunities that match. This mindset shift—from passive recipient to intentional architect—is what separates those who merely work a job from those who live out a calling. It’s not about having more choices; it’s about demanding the right ones and pursuing them with purpose.
The Call to Change the World—One Mission at a Time
In business, metrics like stock price and revenue are easy scoreboards. But Hayes insists that real value lies in impact—on your community, your family, and your world. He challenges readers to ask themselves if their current mission is truly the one that matters. For Hayes, the clarity of purpose he felt as a SEAL—where impact was immediate and tangible—is harder to find in civilian life. Yet the need for mission-driven action is even greater in a world filled with bystanders and “takers.”
He shares a SEAL mantra: a person dies twice—once physically, and again when their name is spoken for the last time. Hayes encourages everyone to live so that their name, and their impact, endures. He calls on readers to get off the sidelines, take ownership for some small piece of society, and steer the world in a better direction. In this way, anyone can leave a legacy that outlasts their days.
Sources:
Navy SEAL Commander’s Regimen for Purposeful Living
